Punta Cana Dominican Republic

The first knock came at 9:59 AM. A savage pounding that rattled my skull like a firing squad. I’d been up until 3 AM drinking rum, so the intrusion felt personal. I stumbled into a robe, flung open the door - only to find nothing. A ghost. A Caribbean poltergeist?

Ten minutes later, it came again. I realized now it was housekeeping: smiling, insistent, armed with fresh sheets and industrial-strength sprays. In broken Spanish I explained I didn’t need to be changed daily like a helpless baby, but they came back again anyway - sometimes ten minutes later, sometimes half an hour. Day after day, like clockwork, a Kafkaesque ritual of pounding doors and polite refusals. Somewhere, I imagined, the universe was laughing at me. Perhaps it was telling me to stop drinking.

By midafternoon I’d crawl out of my cave, sunglasses glued to my face, and stagger into the sun. The resort itself was a carnival of distractions: golf swings, pools, volleyball, waterslides. The food was glorious - beef, pork, shellfish, pasta piled into towers that would shame a Roman emperor. I ate like a condemned man, then lurched into the club nights where the same Top 40 hits echoed with Groundhog Day persistence. Alone, of course. The GOs, allegedly the lifeblood of Club Med’s social scene, treated me like a phantom, while other guests also scattered from my resting sour face. Maybe my loneliness was self-inflicted.

By Day 5, the vibe totally curdled. Staff who’d previously greeted me by name suddenly looked through me, as if a switch had been flipped. Coincidentally—or not—this was right after my meltdown at the concierge desk, when I finally snapped about the endless morning knocking. From that moment, I got the sense that everyone, staff and guests alike, wanted me gone. Honestly, so did I.

And yet, it wasn’t all bad. The weather was forgiving, the food always rich, the drinks always prompt. Club Med Punta Cana was less a vacation and more like a fever dream: part absurd comedy, part bureaucratic nightmare, laced with sunshine, duck fat, and the steady pounding at my door. Would I return? Probably not. But it left me with a story, a headache, and a strange respect for the persistence of their housekeeping.

My wife and I spent our time here for the first 5 days of our honeymoon. Everything was perfect! The food was delicious, the drinks were good, and there were a lot of activities available as well! We did sailing, kayaking, horseback riding, zip lining, trapeze, and many more. We particularly enjoyed the nightly shows and dancing. They had some traditional Dominican dances, dance shows, and even a Michael Jackson show! But what really made this trip so amazing were the G.O.s. They were all super nice and welcoming. When we got there Lauranne, Zen Oasis Management, showed us around the Zen Oasis (where we were staying) and even organized a honeymoon dinner and special decorations for our room! Miguel, the sports manager, was super fun and always went out of his way to come say hi and have a conversation with us. Jojo invited us to a kayaking tour and then to dinner as well which was a great time and we met some really sweet people from several different countries! Overall, this was such a special trip and the people there were so awesome! They really made us feel included and went out of their way to make our honeymoon special! 10/10 recommend.

We go to ClubMed for many reasons: Excellent prices, top quality facilities, excellent food and drinks, but mostly for the unique experience it provides!

This time was no different, but I need to mention the fantastic GOs that makes the magic happen, so thanks so much:

• Pablo and Mathiew for the morning runs and power walks, boche games and more.
• The whole sailing/nautical team that even with so much flotsam was able to still provide activities, not counting the magic afternoon Kayak trips
• Pepito for always fun Coffee Game
• Tennis crew for the amazing tennis lessons!!! Learned and improved so much!!!!

And a special thanks to Miguel, you are just amazing man!!!!

A special note for newcomers: Don't forget to reserve a night at the Indigo. A superb Picanha steak is waiting for you and the Lobster Tail is a must.

Overall, as always, a vacation like no other.

Amazing Experience – Beautiful Resort & Incredible Team

From the moment I arrived, everything exceeded my expectations. The facilities are absolutely beautiful, modern, and very well maintained. The staff was attentive, warm, and welcoming — from the check-in desk all the way to the bar.

The highlight of my stay was the circus show that night. Truly unforgettable! A special shoutout to Arkaddi, the manager and leader of the circus team, and to each of the talented acrobats: Frankelis, José Manuel, Michael, Enmanuel, Daniel Brundo, and Gaby. You all made the experience magical. Also, many thanks to the manager Abdel and to Samarun for making us feel completely at home.

On top of that, the food was a solid 10/10, the music created the perfect atmosphere, and the overall vibe was simply amazing. I can’t recommend this place enough — I left with beautiful memories and can’t wait to return!